Showing posts from August, 2017



The morning was cold,
It's unusual.
It was completely different than the other mornings I had ever lived through.

I doubted myself in that pink suit,
I didn't think I was ready to swim the whole day, alone.

It was now or never,
But it's not that I could refuse and run away from it.
I knew I had to do this.

That day would decide, whether it was the last time I would be setting my foot there,
Or in the future, those buildings and pipes would be seeing me again.
Well, if you ask me what did I imagine on that morning,

There were two scenes; I failed and I succeeded.

I failed the 'jalan raya' test.

I wasn't even ready to drive myself on any road in this world.
And Allah knows best.

The Lost Piece


Convincing myself everything about you is totally gone,
Could never be solid enough.
It all ended up becoming just lies.

And I had known it all along.

Setting up a whole new me in mind,
I wished I was all clean and new.
I wished I could erase everything and turn into someone new.

I knew I had to stop.
Flashing back those tapes of life a few years ago,
Talking about those things that had been happening around,
Writing pieces,

Those, would always bring me back to the thought of you.


Short Story

I look at her.
No expression. Her eyes seem dead.

The leather coat is still in my hand.
We both have nothing to say.

I miss her. I really do miss her.
But now, it feels like she's hundred miles away from me.
When she's just right in front of me.

It feels like,
We are close. As strangers.

Six months I'd been away, to know everything has changed.
That hurts. A little bit too much.
Feels like I am all smouldering.

Just like the feelings between us, in her.
Burning slowly, but there ain't no flame.

"I think you should say welcome home to me,?"

I try to break the silence, which we never had before.

She smiles. A smile I had never seen before.
Stands up, her eyes are locked into mine.
But they are all different than before.

"Everything has changed," she said.

"Six weeks since I've been away
And now you're sayin' everything has changed
And I'm afraid that I might be losing you"

Now I am all afraid.

"And every night that we spend a…

I'm Sorry


"Don't let the bed bugs bite,"

"Sleep tight, sweet dreams,"

I'm sorry.

You're nice.
Those words brought back the warmth I'd lost.

I cherish them, so you have my thanks.

But nothing is ever good.
This can never be good, for the sake of Allah,
I hope you'll know this.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what's going on there,
Your side that I couldn't see up to these days.
But trust me,
I think I wouldn't want to know it either.

I'm sorry.

You have always been kind to me, to everyone.
You have your own values,
Which are gold.

I'm sorry.

Reality 2#


Drifting back,
From time to time,

I saw you there - in your usual pose

Kicking the pain away,
From time to time,

Sometimes I would like it to be here - with me

The blackness of the blue morning,
I prayed to Allah - the sky would be brighter,
From time to time,

Knowing you would be there,
I had to tell myself you would be gone too,

Now that you're already far away.
I am missing you so much.
So much that it hurts my chest, tears are falling down.

Sometimes I thought you would make up questions,
So that you could start a conversation,

It's okay.

In my head I've been telling myself,
From time to time,
That you will always be my favourite guy,
That I will always love inshaallah.

Missing you is tiring, along.

One Time


I don't write about you a lot
Well, I never plan to do it anyway.

Because, this platform could never be enough for me,
To write about you.
About your beauty.
About your smile.
About your intelligence.
Everything, that indeed is mesmerizing,
About you.


But yeah. I just want you to know.

You've always been someone so dear to me.
I have always had the thought of you, that you're so perfect.

You've always been someone so beautiful.
In any form, in any state, in anything.

Your smile is just so fine.
With those teeth, beautifully arranged.
Along with your laugh.
I could take forever to just stare at it.

Everything you've ever had in you,
Everyone could never push it away.

You never know.

Everyone likes to be with you.
And you would always be looking so fine and so amazing.

I could take a second, maybe shorter than that,
Just to fall for you.

To love you is easy.

Handling me is something you've always done.
Since the day we met and I sat b…



Life goes on,
That's the rule.

It hurts to think that now I'm all alone,
Spending the early morning,
Knowing that there's no other soul that I could wait,
Like those days,
To wake up.

You're no longer there.

It's painful to think that now everything is a bit tougher,
You're the one that I could depend on,
Sending me somewhere far,
Knowing that you would always come to pick me up.
You would always come to pick me up.
You would always come.

You're no longer there.

I would always be missing you.
And cry a lot.
The first few days of getting used to live without you,
Sure will be hard for me.

But soon I will take my leave too inshaallah.
Just like you, I move forward for the sake of everything around me.
For the sake of everything in the future.

And firstly,
For the sake of Allah.

I know that I have Allah with me.
And that's what keeps us moving on.

Well, all the best and take care.



They looked at me
Triggering myself to know what was beyond the eyes

Wanting to know who I really was,
Sending me back and forth,
Between the past and the present me,
I couldn't find any scribbled notes,
Which could explain me to them.

Which could explain me,
To me, myself.

They looked at me
Triggering myself to know what was beyond the talks

Telling me I wasn't being myself,
Shaking the whole world I was living in,
Screwing up my eyes, trying to know myself.
Between the laughs and the tears I spilled out,
I became more puzzled.

Who was I?

Being fake and being real,
Guess that I didn't even know how to be both.

But one thing for sure.
The One who created me knows the answers.

Allah knows me for sure.

Fujifabric - Blue


The day I left you without a single note,
I guessed you were waiting for me at Sankaku Park,
Bet you came before time,

Bet you were feeling nervous,
Bet your heart was beating fast,
You were waiting for me,
Been wanting to see me.

Been wanting to be with me.

The cold of the night was drawing in,
Bet you didn't move anywhere even for a second,
You waited.

But I was already far away.

I thought about you a lot.

Your name on my notebook.

Your eyes.

Your voice.

The memories of those days made me quiver with sadness.

It's always been about you,
No matter how far I've gone,
No matter how many I've met,
It's always been you.

Only you.

- Tanaka Kou



Muse is not the most suitable word for you, in me.

You're like another part of me,
Who will always be needed by me,
Who will always have the best spot in this heart of mine.

You're the one I've always loved, to talk to.
To look at.
To hold.
To love, of course.

What has gotten into you?

These past few days you always managed to make me giggle.
With those tagging on Instagram, which I felt ridiculous,
Well guess that they don't have any relations to me.

Thank you for staying by my side
Since we were 13,

I couldn't find the exact reason why I have always liked to be with you,
But deep inside alhamdulillah, Allah gave me you,
You're a blessing in disguise, indeed.

For all the times you spent with me,
Thank you.
For hearing my stupid jokes and laughed,
Thank you.

I never want to tell you, that you are my precious.
I might be too shy to admit it.
But yeah.

You're precious to me.

You may not be perfect, well neither of us is,
But you always find pi…



The other day you were shining,
And I could feel the warmth of your words,
You came.

It felt like summer.

But just like the seasons,
You changed.

The lights turned dim
I believed I saw you there, again.
But the air was cold,

Everything went so fast and so,

I believed I saw you,
But it felt like I was staring at a mountain peak covered with perpetual snow and ice.

But still,
It was beautiful.

- Yoshioka Futaba