ThirTeen

 Assalamualaikum It's been a year since I lost you. They said if you were here, you would grow so handsomely, And as a baby, you'd be too cute to handle. It's not that I wanted to be the main character, I guess, I just have to live with the pain. Each time they show their happiness, Wrapping those small little cuties in their sturdy and tired arms, I pray that this is not envy, But I couldn't help but whisper good for you. And each time she shared her fair share of life stories, While appreciating the warmth and trust she poured on to me, My gut would feel suffocated, and in the early days my throat was dry, while my tired eyes were brimming with warm salted tears. It's not easy. It never is.  I know people around have experienced loss at some point, I'm not the only one. But please validate my pain. Please, I beg you. Let me be the main character. So that I won't be crying when you are not blocked on my medias, while reminding me of my loss. Allah's pla...

 Assalamualaikum He once labeled me petite, And a few times made me feel cute, As the wind blew, we were never close to begin with, But we did age the same, in terms of numbers.  The boys looked young, I made a count, Guessing they might be in their youngest 20s.  While me, nearing my 30s.  I never thought I could be this old.  But this is it. I am 26.  It felt like I wore my green attire only yesterday, coming late in attendance on the school bricks.  And my forehead had no single wrinkle. Looking so young and clueless, searching for his broad shoulders.  I wanted to be a teacher, get married, and have two beautiful children.  Life brought me to you. He said the people here got married to the ones working at the same place, My parents and I laughed and I said to myself I had somebody in mind who lived far away from here. But the black shirt became the start of our braid of fate. And last night I wondered to myself what if the shirt was never...