The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

Assalamualaikum

I've been surrounded by people who,
Don't really care about those they like.
Or have feelings for.
And we are all good, having no special someone.

I tend to want the guy to notice me.
And back off if there is no open seam for me.
But once the reply given is positive, I know it's too late to move backward.
And it's time-consuming to move on.
I always want the guy to like me back, and that's it.
Maybe all I ever want is a nice reply, and nice here means that he is willing to feel the same.
For a lifetime. And that's it.

My friends always support me, and the current knight is not doing well in their eyes. So most of them tell me to move forward without him. Sometimes I think the same, but most of the time, I can't seem to really move on. And when it comes to them, I have always wanted to do the same.

We like to share much about ourselves.

But deep down inside, I think I'm afraid once they tell me they have their eyes on some guys. I want them to feel the butterflies and those mixed and exciting stupid feelings. But, I don't want them to get hurt.

It's taking too much of their time if they always think about those fellas. They would get headaches. And sometimes when they bump into each other, they won't have an appetite and prefer to hide. And at night they lay down and ask me, what do those guys really feel. I know they've been knowing I have no answer for that, so I let them talk all they want. They have always done the same for me. And I know, it's time-consuming and tiring. And when the climax comes, it's either positive or negative. And the last thing I ever want to see on their faces, are those killing tears.

I just don't want them to get hurt. Those who end well, I'm glad. But those who don't or still contemplating, I want to keep them in my pockets and make them hot chocolates. Selfish, this thought is.

I will always be here for you. And you deserve so much more, so much better.