I'm Sorry

Assalamualaikum

Lately you have become one distraction to me.
Even in your absence I became crazy.

The moment my mind was emptied, having no one to talk to.
The thought of you would come rushing in a split of seconds.
I was critical, and ought to be treated.
But I needed to let you know that,
This insanity happened a lot because I liked the idea of you,
Around me.

I remember the nights when you told me about you.
About the things that had been going on in your life,
You needed a quick escape from reality, but you knew it wouldn't be that easy.

I'm sorry.
I might have said the things that you didn't even need to hear them.
I might have been talking like those things you went through were easy.
I wasn't in your place, yet I was being self-centred, pressuring you hard enough,
You didn't even feel better.

I'm sorry.
For the things that I have done that hurt you.
For always misunderstanding you when you used foreign channel.

For not being there when you needed someone.
For not being able to be the one that could give you fresh start,
Always bringing up the painful pasts when all you ever wanted to do was,
Moving on.

I thought I was finally able to understand you a bit,
It was okay if it's just for a bit.
But as I was drowned in my own useless feelings,
Little did I know you have been diving deeper,
Deeper than before, deeper than you always did.

So I just ask Allah to take care of you.
To always save you when you're in need of someone.
To always guide you, me and us, to Him.

Stay safe, and take care.






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