Hey

Assalamualaikum

I have always thought of you as someone nice,
Kind. Not so pure, but I liked it the way you used to be around me.

You were invisible back then. I never noticed the colours you displayed,
I never cared. But when I saw you cry I thought to myself,
You were different.
That was when I liked the way how soft you could be, and none could be like you.

You were the side character. You were attractive and amusing,
But you were never my centre of attention.
You didn't have the spotlight.

But the first moment you came I felt your strong force.
I was pulled by whatever was it, but soon I thought to myself I was crazy.
So I told you to stay as stranger. You made the sounds to tell me you disagreed,
But as the day came you were the first to turn away and not look at me in the eyes.

Seasons changed and the seats rearranged.
And as I was dreadful and close to break myself, I saw you on the cliff screaming words.
I always thought that you were someone so confident of yourself,
But on that day I realised you were the same as anybody else.
You had your own insecurities. And they were some serious deals for me.
I thought you wanted to be saved so I made moves without hesitation.
Without even thinking.

And surprisingly, you accepted me. And that opened the doors of you to me.
I learned many things about you. And I enjoyed every single moment listening to you.
And that was my mistake.

You see,
I might want to fight for you, I might want you to live your dreams.
I might want the best for you.
I might want everything that you deserve to be yours.

But I wasn't a fool.
I wasn't a doll.

If you decided to stay, let it not be because you were left with no choice.

I wasn't an option. Nor a second option.

But don't misunderstand this, I don't blame you, but it hurts.

It hurts to know that I was wrong.
It hurts to know that it was my mistake.
It hurts to know that it was me all along.

Don't worry.
It was me. It was only me.

- Kikuchi Touma



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