TS - Illicit Affairs

Assalamualaikum

You had no idea how your daily smile broke me,

Each time that greets you gave, the fool you made me with the look,

You had no idea how bad it was, for me to accept that nights and mornings.

You told me to measure the sincerity, to ask myself where was the validity,

That you now seemed to use it for your own satisfaction, did it feel good? 

Did it feel good? To have me longing for you? How did it feel?

You spoke good words and reminded me many times about the better things.

But then you went on once again with those confusing offers and remarks.

You told me to be clear and transparent, and I was all that, but until today all you were was ambiguity. 

You told me to be true to myself and you, while your true thoughts and feelings were kept locked. 

You stepped on my bones and kept the cracks.

You begged me to stay alive and keep on looking at you.

I would do that for you, and you know. 

But between the coffees and sweet smiles, your shoulders were cold but you wanted me to feel warm. 

Between the talks and everything you showed me,

All you were was ambiguity and nothing more.

All you were was confusing, and tiring. 

All you were was everything I ever wanted.

But maybe not this time, not anymore.