Life - You Mean So Much

 Assalamualaikum

I want to go to Ikea once again with you.

And try my best to be myself, to not fall asleep,

Just to catch your laughs and smiles,

And to watch you feel like yourself again. 

I want to buy you lunch and dinner, and knock on your door.

I want to have my meals with you, and think hard about what you can eat and what you're not supposed to take in. I want to fall asleep next to your bed. And notice how much you hate bad smells.

And notice how you'd look like in the morning. And smile at you, with all my heart.

I want you to feel my presence, each time you feel you're alone. I want to pick you up at the bus stop, and take you somewhere and we're gonna have some desserts. I want to buy you your favourite waffles with ice creams on top of them. I want to watch you eat and laugh. I want to do stupid things in front of you.

I want to pray with you. And read Al-Quran with you. I want to talk about the wonders of Islam with you, and I want you to remind me of stuffs and that I should be patient. 

I want to breathe in the same room as you. I want to be next to you. 

Do know that each time you told me how you're feeling, and how bad your day was, I felt like running to you in a second. I felt so sad, to not be able to take your meals to your door. To hug you when you sob. How frustrated I was, to not be able to defend you. To hold your hand and take you somewhere else. To not be able to take care of you, and how much we've grown up. 

But I should never feel worried. Because I know you're in good hands of Allah, our God. I know this is easy to say, but do know that everything happens for a reason. And I'm not the one to tell you what the reason is, because I do not know better. 

Allah, will catch you when you fall. Allah hears your every thought and whisper. Allah knows how sad you are, how broken you are. Allah knows everything about you, deeply, and you can never imagine how deep it is. Allah will never burden a soul, beyond that it can bear. Allah's wisdom is so vast and infinite, and He wants only the best for us. 

So pray for me. Pray that I can be a better muslim, a better me. Pray that I can be patient, just because I want to please My Lord. Pray for me, and the Angels will make prayers for you my love.