Showing posts from July, 2017



Only Allah knows how it feels like.

It's not easy for me to leave everything behind.
It's not easy for me to move on from everything that I used to love.
I used to be crazy of.
I used to, live with it.

But white and black can never be mixed.
The pure and the stained ones can never be mixed.

So do the ones which are 'haq', and the ones which are 'bathil'.

I tried my best, and I believed it wasn't drastically.

Changes take time.

I tried to make time for me to change.

But to change, it's not as easy as giving someone their changes, coins or papers.

Syaitans will always tell me it's alright.
When I had already decided to leave everything behind.
I wanted to do it because I believed I just had to.
I wanted it all be because of Allah.

But no one ever said it would be easy,
Mujahadah can never be easy.
Hijrah, can never be easy.

That's why in return, Allah will give you everything you never imagine of getting.

Jannah ain't cheap.

Hey, again


Hey, hi.

"You're good?"

"Yeah, alhamdulillah. What about you?"

"Alhamdulillah too. But, life's been stressful these few days,"

I smiled. Tried to choose words properly, wisely.
So that you would feel better.
Really wanted you to feel at ease.

But in the end,
I knew I couldn't.

Don't come to me just when you feel lonely.
I'm not the one who can fill you up.
In fact, nothing which is worldly-based can do that for you.

Don't come to me just when you feel bored.
My jokes, they seem like they can never get through you, maybe.
Plus I'm not a clown, I believe.
Or it seems like that to you?

Don't come to me just when you feel, you need to.

Just don't come.

I'd been wanting to know the truth.
I did ask, but no one could answer.
I did ask, but the person wasn't you.

But then I realized, whatever it is.
Guess that it brings no benefit to me?
It's gonna be useless.

Don't come back.

If you want to know s…

A Name (recovered)


That one name on my shirt,
Orange in colour, golden blankets those alphabets,

People were asking,
I said that was mine.
But a different name is written there.

I had always loved the idea of you,
Those beautiful eyes, along with your long eye lashes,
I had always thought that everyone would love 'em.

And I would be the first one to fall for you.

I had always loved to be with you,
A day without you by my side was like a year without rain.

Your name on my shirt,
That was me, showing the meaning of you in me,
It seemed small, but you had the deepest place,
So close and so dear to my heart.

And now that everything has changed.

Sometimes I still like to picture you and me,
In the past,

Present and future, that will still be secrets that only Allah knows.

Just Me (recovered)


It's true that,
It's not that the absence of someone making us hurt,

It's the flashbacks that come after it.
It's the memories that follow.

Thinking about everything that was so fine,
Thinking about the impossibilities that I thought were totally impossible,
But now we could see 'em driving us crazy right before our eyes,

Moving on is easy,
Someone did it like so fast and so smooth, just like you.

But some might have a seriously hard time to do it.
Still cling on to the tapes of the past,

It's the flashbacks that keep holding me back,
It's the memories that keep making me smile,

Those were sweets.

For me, at least.

Just me.

Regret (recovered)


I've written about you in the past,
And it seems like I can never get over with,
What had happened between us two.

Each time I look at your posts on Instagram,
I would always be searching for the smile,
And it never changes.

How I wish I could see that in front of my eyes,
How I wish you left me,
Without a broken heart.

I'm truly sorry, for how many times I don't know,
For hurting you.

I'm truly sorry, though I know you wouldn't read this,
For making you cry back then.

I'm sorry,
For wasting your love on me.

I am sorry.