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Assalamualaikum

Only Allah knows how it feels like.

It's not easy for me to leave everything behind.
It's not easy for me to move on from everything that I used to love.
I used to be crazy of.
I used to, live with it.

But white and black can never be mixed.
The pure and the stained ones can never be mixed.

So do the ones which are 'haq', and the ones which are 'bathil'.

I tried my best, and I believed it wasn't drastically.

Changes take time.

I tried to make time for me to change.

But to change, it's not as easy as giving someone their changes, coins or papers.

Syaitans will always tell me it's alright.
When I had already decided to leave everything behind.
I wanted to do it because I believed I just had to.
I wanted it all be because of Allah.

But no one ever said it would be easy,
Mujahadah can never be easy.
Hijrah, can never be easy.

That's why in return, Allah will give you everything you never imagine of getting.

Jannah ain't cheap.
It's beyond expensive.
It's beyond everything. No one can ever imagine how it is.

How it is, and all of the nikmat in it.

Apa yang ada di sisi Allah itu lebih baik.

Jauh, lebih baik.

I cannot help myself from thinking that,

I'm all alone in this.

I know bi'ah solehah is important.
But tell me how,
When my loved ones cannot fully understand me.

Tell me how,
When my loved ones do not even know me.

Tell me how,
When I have to survive without their support.

I love every one of them.
And I used to love what they love.

Do you understand?

It breaks my heart.
It hurts me.
But I can tell it to no one.
But I do know that Allah understands me, better than myself.

The attraction of this dunya is just too strong.
Without iman and taqwa,
How can we survive?

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