Nell - Down

Assalamualaikum

It felt so tiring, day by day,
I had so much to say but I couldn't get it through you.
I thought of millions of questions and reasons to face you again,
But the reality now was even better than those illusions.

I wished I had never opened up to you,
If it would be this hurtful when you no longer wanted to talk to me.
I wished I had never shared about me,
If it would be this crazy to keep all of the things I'd been wanting to tell you, to myself,
As we had now become complete strangers.
I wished we had never become close friends, who knew each other's skin, if not so deep at least I once could feel you deep enough I was soaked in my own feelings.
I wished,
I could wake up one day not remembering anything about being your friend,
Or acquaintance, or whatever you thought of me back then.
I wished there would come a day, soon, where I would no longer think of you as frequent as yesterday, today, and every day.

It was painful to look at you and heard things about you.
It was, freaking, hurtful, painful, my heart really broke.

I really wanted to talk to you again,
But avoiding you seemed much more easier.
And safer.











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