Life

Assalamualaikum

Each and every time I felt lonely,
I thought it'd be good if I were me years back then.

You probably didn't know me well before,
But you'd notice me walking with at least someone by my side.

I never hated the thought of me being alone.
Not before I experienced it myself.

Being alone made you feel sad.
Even worse in a crowd where everyone would be with somebody,
And then standing there, you felt like you're the only one by yourself.

Deep down inside, I knew one day I had to be alone.
One day I had to walk holding the hand of my own shadow.
One day I had to accept the fact,
Nobody was there for me.

They said things happened and there was me,
Life went on and there was me,
Deciding to feel comfortable with no one's company.
And I enjoyed it.
Honestly, and truly.

I had no one to wait for me,
And I needed to wait for nobody.
I was fine keeping up with my own pace.
No need to catch up with someone else's speed.
I was fine by myself.

Feelings to be cared of, I owned every of them.
Being alone saved me from being hurt, and hurting someone else.

It gave you freedom.
But not more than that.

It gave you space and time for yourself.
But not more than that.

Those nice meals sometimes would taste weird.
A stranger was sitting on the same table as you.
Those nice clothes sometimes would look terribly alien.
Strangers were having fun on the same floor as you.

I wished I was the lone ranger me from the past.
Each and every time I felt lonely.
Each and every time I was hurting.

But waking up to your presence the next day,
I am always glad that I'm no longer me from the past.
I am glad that I feel more like a human now.

I am glad, that I have you by my side.