Showing posts from December, 2016



Wear that shirt with collar on
And let me pull it with all my heart,
Let me be taller,
And make you believe I could punch your left cheek,
And pray that it would not be swollen

Don't wear that white suit,
My tears and blood would leave their permanent traces on it,
People are going to blame you later,
So don't .

Sit down,
Don't let your eyes go wild,
Stay still .

Tell me,
What do you want ?

You acted like nothing had ever happened,
That Vanilla sundae I ate while forcing myself to smile,
I could feel myself was breaking down
That popcorn and zombies,
I was drowned in that big screen,
But it was a heartbreak on the big screen .

That splendid meals we had,
That laughter that broke my heart,
But I tried to feel nothing,

Those beautiful wishes at that midnight,
And you came in with one for me,
And I knew everything was so messed up,
But actually it was all redundant,
And was so sick

I could survive before those days,
I could survive before that moment on the tr…

Childhood 3#


When I was young,
I really liked to go to Koyan
Even though the days there were burning,
And there were scorpions,
There were no other child,

But it had Maktok and Tokwan,
Whom I really love, since the first moment I knew them

Those days witnessed my unspoken love for them
Whenever those three days and two nights had gone,
I hoped the small pillow would suck away my tears,
I never wanted to wave them goodbye,
Because I never wanted to go,
Leaving them there

As I grew up,
The tears were lessen,
And one day,
I was glad that those days and nights there had gone away in a blink of an eye

I still love them,
But I don't know .

Maybe we talked less than ever,
Maybe I was no longer a small girl who couldn't understand those adult talks,
People really change . And never stay the same .

But recently,
Those five days made me realize that,
That inner me, is still the same Aya, who would cry and never want to say goodbye

Is still the same Aya,
Who would laugh over To…



Penatlah aku begini .
Ke mana aku langkah, situ juga kau muncul
Apa aku buat, wajah kau juga yang muncul

Di setiap ruang
Di setiap kekosongan,

Tolong .
Berhenti .

Aku ingin lari .

Hai 5#


I guess, I could never get tired of you
Hearing your small voice through the phone line last night, It was something enjoyable, It was something enchanting, It was something . That I've been missing, So much .
Listening to your stories through the unseen waves last night, While knowing the fact that we are miles away, Realizing those moments that I can't even see your shadow, Is something hurtful, but the smile on my face can still be carved, I had fun, giving responses to you, Hearing your laugh, and imagining your slanted eyes became even more like two lines on those papers 
Saying good night to you, Was the easiest thing that I could ever do every night, But last night, it was so different .
Saying good night to you, Without being able to see your smile before I close my eyes, Suddenly becomes something that is, hard .
Because we know, It can never be the same, no more .
Alhamdulillah Ya Allah, For those times You gave me, To spend with her,  And now, To kee…



I smelled the nice aroma of soybean drink,
In a glass bottle just now .
Then I thought of you .

Who loved to drink it back then.

Do you still like to drink it today ?
Like those days behind us ?

I remember that you liked chocolate .
And Cloud 9
And there were nights I came to you, along with them .
I hoped you were happy to have them

You used to dislike honeydew
But then we had a fight

You pulled my hand and hugged me tight,
Since that day in the ward, you like honeydew, just like me :')

I miss you,
And do you feel the same ?

Farewell 2#


Sad to know that I have my second farewell,
To you .

It should have stayed as one .

It was my fault .

I was at my limit, and drowned in their black whispers
Then you came back,
Leaving everything that was hurting me behind .

You came back,
Thinking that you came along with sunshine and rainbows

You came back,
And I knew it was for nothing .

Nothing was good, but I was a fool to fall for it .
Nothing was fine, but I was a blockhead to smile for it .

I knew it all along, but I was so ruthless to myself,
I kept on dragging myself into it
Astaghfirullahalazim .

I knew that one day this is going to happen, again.
And I hoped that I won't repeat the same thing, again .
Just like what I did before .

So farewell,
And do never come back, lillahitaala inshaallah :)

BBK3410 11#


Kali ini, aku ingin menceritakan pengalaman aku mengikuti lawatan sekolah rendahku, sewaktu aku berumur 12 tahun .
Darjah enam, namun tidak aku ingat sama ada lawatan itu selepas atau sebelum UPSR .

Lawatan ini berlangsung selama 3 hari 2 malam .
Sama seperti lawatan sekolah-sekolah lain mungkin,
Namun bagi aku . Ini merupakan salah satu kenangan manis dalam hidup ini .

Lawatan ini membawa kami ke Genting Highland, Berjaya Times Square, dan destinasi terakhir iaitu Gambang Water Park !

Kami berkumpul di sekitar sekolah seawal jam 7 pagi.
Aku begitu teruja pada waktu itu, masih aku ingat aku memakai baju berwarna merah.

Setelah kami berkumpul di dataran hadapan sekolah, guru pengiring kami mengarahkan kami untuk mula memenuhi tempat duduk di dalam bas .
Aku bersama-sama sahabat baikku,Aisyah telah memilih untuk di bahagian tengah bas.

Sepanjang perjalanan, kulit dan tulangku serasa mengecut kerana terlampau sejuk.
Masih aku ingat wajah sahabat-sahabatku yang enak diulit…



Have you forgotten me ?

I hope you haven't .

I hope no one can ever replace me in your heart,
I know it sounds selfish,
But .
No one can ever make me feel the way you do to me

I never thought you would be this important to me
Seeing you for the first time, with a white floral scarf on your head,
Never crossed my mind that I would love you this deep .

What we have is magical, and I would want to do anything to keep it

I did feel the changing air between us
Only Allah knew that my heart was beating in anxiety,
Trying its best to push away the awkwardness between you and me

But I hoped you didn't feel the same .

You have always been here ; in me
You have always had place here ; in me

You mean everything,
With you I feel like I'm home
With you I feel safe
With you I feel like those knights are not needed
With you,
I feel like I am being loved .

You're my first crazy love, I can say haha

Allah gives me the best companion ever in this life .




Sometimes the memories that keep people livin' in us

Sometimes the memories that keep us feelin' warm,
And keep up the sweet smile on that face,
It does feel bitter, but let the chocolate marshmallow melt in your mouth

I don't want to remember,
But it is a perfect lie if I say I can forget everything

Well, sometimes I just really like to play back those scenes in mind
And try to read what was it in your mind,
What were the words that you said at that moment,
What was the point,
And reasons,
Behind this thing I've been keeping, and wanting to throw it away .

I saw nothing in you,
But I couldn't figure out why was it you, that this finger wanted to point at ?

- Ayuzawa Misaki

Akustatik -OAG

Mentimun Bengkok


Kau tahu rasa sakit ?
Bagai jarum mencucuk kulit kau yang sawo matang itu
Tapi kau sasa, mungkin tak sakit .

Hari yang berlalu menyaksikan kebencian aku
Betapa aku ingin lari kerana bagi aku,
Kau terlampau jujur dan ke depan,
Namun tetap aku merah padam .
Sedangkan semuanya sungguh buruk dan membunuh aku,
Sungguh .
Aku ingin lari .
Aku ingin kita lari .

Namun aku tetap manusia seperti kau
Aku juga punya peti hati .
Tapi atas kita untuk uruskannya .

Hari yang berlalu menyaksikan betapa serabutnya atmosfera ini
Sering saja fikiran aku melayang ke belakang .
Apa yang aku ingat sungguh segar dan jelas sekali .

Setiap gerak dan geri kau .
Apa yang pernah kau tampilkan .
Warna yang kau jelmakan .
Setiap racun yang kau tuangkan .
Setiap apa yang mendebik rangka

Apa kau tahu ?
Kau tak pernah tahu .

Aku tahu kau akan berubah .
Aku jangka perkara ini bakal berdepan dengan aku .
Sungguh singkat namun itulah realitinya .

Aku gembira, alhamdulillah .
Aku gembira kalau aku mampu jad…