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Showing posts from April, 2018

Sing For Me

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Assalamualaikum

As we waved goodbye and took different ways,
Somehow I knew things would never be the same the next time we meet.

The feeling of longing but no matter how much you think of it,
You just know it can never be erased, don't even talk about ease.
It would keep haunting you, until one day you wake up,
Feeling all numb and the next minute you know you're finally free.

I had to go through countless days and episodes,
To finally reach the stage where your name would not matter anymore.
And when they talked about you I could finally add up some points,
Just a few of you that I could recall,
As it had been so long I didn't see you.
We could no longer feel us.

We had finally become another frameless memory.
And another burned history.






Invisible

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Assalamualaikum

I'd like to disappear the second you blinked your eyes, And left you everything but traces of my existence.  Seeing you after myself was completely erased was something I'd always wanted to do, But my world had always been revolving around you.
There were things that mattered to me but not to you, And sometimes this thought saddened me even when I already knew the reasons. And some days I could let them slip away through my fingers, Just to welcome them back with open arms in the evening. 
Then I became confused, whether to disappear or appear, The moment my eyes caught your figure. You were one kind of perfection that I didn't want to lose, But sticking around would only deepen the wound.
Once again I didn't know what to do, Which to choose. But being myself, let's just follow the flow.




Hotaru

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Assalamualaikum

Like a firefly,
You shone every alley during my darkest days,
Leaving me traces of hope, whispered to me to always go on,
And don't be stupid.

Like a firefly,
I was afraid you might go away,
I could never make one stay after all,
But in those days I thought none would get me,
You're there. I felt the warmth of your light,
Blinding every eye.

You seemed to know me well.
You could go through every page of me and perceived every of me perfectly.
Have we ever met before this?
You made me feel like we were meant to be together since the first moment our feet set place in this world.
Once again what was this chemistry between us?

The damp grass was heated, slowly as the sun rose before my eyes.
Even so, would you stay with me?




You

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Assalamualaikum

I'm sorry.
We became like this.
I'm sorry.

I never thought this day would eventually come,
The day, where you would no longer look at my way,
Like those days.
You would no longer call out for me, search for me,
Just when you thought you needed me, when no one else would be by your side.

I wasn't a life saver. All I ever did was sitting next to you and trying my best to enjoy my meal,
While listening to your rants.
Most of the times I didn't know what to say.
But sometimes I did try to say things I thought would be nice for you,
You see. I did try to make you feel, if not better, just good.
I hoped for you to feel good, even for a moment. Thinking that, at least, you had me with you.

Some days my head was so full of you. I couldn't find solutions to your problems.
Even if I found some, they were impossible and a little bit illogical.
You see. I got you in my mind for nights and days.

I'm sorry.
For not being able to look at you the same way I had…

Awake

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Assalamualaikum

She kept on telling me about you.
Describing every single thing about you.

You,
When you walked down the stairs with those steps.
With your black and white sneakers, the colours blended in,
Perfectly matched your ripped skinny jeans,
And your messy hair.

I looked at her,
That look was alienating me and the whole word.
She pushed us aside as her mouth carved your face on the sand.

You,
When you ran down the court,
Holding the flying ball and making pass,
With your jumps and the way your eyes searching for your mates.
You're a stranger.

She talked as if you're a masterpiece that anyone could hardly find.
As if you're someone something so beautiful.
As if, I didn't even know you.

Tell me, how to tell her to stop.




Pain

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Assalamualaikum

I wasn't the type to let my phone full with notifications.
The time I got even an unimportant message from celcom,
I would, never, take the whole day to open it.
My mail was always empty of notifications, most of them were from pinterest.

But people around me were a bit different.
They would be taking about, a whole week to open their mail, their messages and chats.
And that bothered me, a lot.
I would always have the crazy urge to open every mail on their phones, and I guess if I did that it would take days for me to finish.
And I never did.

But lately, seeing my phone irritates me.
I don't feel good looking at it.
I don't feel excited if it rings, I don't even wait for things to come on knocking as usual.

I feel hurt seeing those chats and notifications.
These past few weeks did that to me.
Those ringing sounds were my nightmares.
Those words and acts, that I didn't see, stung my chest and I felt like bleeding.

It was so hurtful, to endure it. Eve…

I Don't Know

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Assalamualaikum

I honestly didn't know what to say.
You once said I was good with words,
But then I came to realise that,
I didn't think much about the others' feelings before saying something.

I might end up hurting them.
Just like how I had hurt you.

Hurting you was the last thing on my mind.
But I guess I couldn't even bring myself to think of ways to hurt you.
Even the image of you getting hurt because of me could never,
Cross my mind so easily.
Like how your name would echo in my mind.
Like how the thoughts of you would cross over the boundary and get to me,
Even in my dreams.

I'm sorry.
I'm terribly sorry.

I don't know how to make it right.
I honestly,
Don't know.

People say we should say sorry to the ones we have wronged,
And then try to not do the same mistake,
And lastly ask them how to make things right again.

But I can never promise you I wouldn't hurt you again.
If the things I did last time I didn't even know would end up wounding y…

Resolutions

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Assalamualaikum

Don't give me that look.
I'm begging you, please don't.

Yesterday we said we're going to stay tomorrow.
But today came but none of us appeared in each other's sight.

I know, that's just how we are.
People change.

You told me don't leave.
You told me don't give up on you.

You were messed up,
And you asked me,
To stay.

But what just happened?


Thank You

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Assalamualaikum

Just now you left us, leaving one blank space.
It felt so weird.
Suddenly the air around me changed.
You weren't there with me.

You were the missing puzzle I'd been looking for all this while.
And it seemed so natural for me to have you by my side,
Maybe no one could ever explain the chemistry we had,
And maybe even you and I could never figure this out.

You were the bundle of joy I'd been searching for.
Telling myself I had someone with me,
Because you were the view in front of me,
Because you were the one who would be with me,
For another unknown day, for another new things.

You guys are the ones who mean it,
When people say a friend in need is a friend indeed,
The best will always be the one who stick with us through thick and thin.

You guys are the ones who hold me,
When everything seemed to be falling apart.

Your absence was something that I never knew would come,
But then I had to come to my sense and told myself,
It's okay.
Distance between us fo…

Hei, apa khabar? 2#

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Assalamualaikum

Hei kau, apa khabar sekali lagi?

Harap kau baik-baik saja. Aku?
Sedikit gila, namun masih terkawal.

Bagaimana kau sekarang?
Maaflah, kali ini lama sungguh kita saling menyepi.
Macam biasa, aku teringat kau pada waktu-waktu begini.
Kau, dan pipi merah yang menjadi identiti.
Kau, dan bulu mata lentik itu.
Kau, dan tawa itu.

Hari itu kita bertembung mata.
Aku sebenarnya sedikit gugup, yalah.
Sudahlah lama tak bertukar pandangan,
Jumpa pula di hadapan kedai makan.

Kalau boleh aku ingin berlama,
Berborak panjang mengundang memori lama,
Namun disampingku tidak patut menunggu,
Jadi kita saling faham pabila aku mengundur dulu.

Kalau kau,
Mesti faham aku, bukan?

Kau tak pernah aku buang.
Kau dan semua antara kita aku simpan kemas di celah hidupan.

Kau tetap aku rindu.
Macam biasa.

Tuliskan aku satu lagi puisi kontot, boleh?

- Kamil



Good Night

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Assalamualaikum

You, meant a dream of a man.
Sent sparkles of dust miles away,
Can't be a truth for the man,
Sent sparks of firework, haunting nights and days.

You're rowing a bit too far now.
I thought the streams were going to lead you somewhere near,
But thought was just a thought.
It wasn't a plan, I did none.
Thought was just a thought.
But sometimes dreams were thoughts I'd been feeding my mind.

You're almost out of the sight now.
I thought I saw your shadow, running here.
But even in the dark, mine too would be lost.
It was never meant to stay around,
Yours is yours and would only stick to you.
But even your shadow is captivating.

You've vanished into thin air.
I thought I saw some glittery particles that could be stuck in my lungs,
But they didn't swim into my throat, I wondered why I ran out of breath,
My mind told me stay, my heart told me to chase.

You, told me to be sane.

Sometimes when you go through those records,
I hope you'd find the one…

Hey

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Assalamualaikum

I have always thought of you as someone nice,
Kind. Not so pure, but I liked it the way you used to be around me.

You were invisible back then. I never noticed the colours you displayed,
I never cared. But when I saw you cry I thought to myself,
You were different.
That was when I liked the way how soft you could be, and none could be like you.

You were the side character. You were attractive and amusing,
But you were never my centre of attention.
You didn't have the spotlight.

But the first moment you came I felt your strong force.
I was pulled by whatever was it, but soon I thought to myself I was crazy.
So I told you to stay as stranger. You made the sounds to tell me you disagreed,
But as the day came you were the first to turn away and not look at me in the eyes.

Seasons changed and the seats rearranged.
And as I was dreadful and close to break myself, I saw you on the cliff screaming words.
I always thought that you were someone so confident of yourself,
But …

Time Spent Walking Through Memories

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Assalamualaikum

Have you ever thought of me,
In those sleepless nights?

Have you ever caught a glimpse of me,
In those crowds you sank yourself into?

Have you ever wondered about me,
As now we're no longer seeing each other,
No longer calling for each other,
No longer finding ideas to skip this town with each other's shadows.

Is there anyone who looks like me?
Or resembles a bit of my smile?
Or the way my eyes speak to you?

No one here could do that to me.

You left too many footprints on my road.
They were all colourful,
But as it rained all over me,
I lost track of them, but didn't make myself to trace them back.
The colours faded away.

Where are you now?
I did ask a few people back then,
Glad to hear good things about you,
Glad to know that you're doing just fine,
Glad to see that,
Now I'm taking steps back to your past,
And let myself stay there.

Let the memories of me beside you remain in the past.
Let that part of me remain with the old you,
And those times we…